The Madonna-Whore Complex, a limited reflection on womanhood

The lack of consideration and understanding toward Women they carry with them is not born from today. 

We are actually fighting against beliefs that have been implanted into our mentality since the beginning of societal lifestyles but the M-W complex was formally introduced by Freud in the early 1900s.

It’s a phenomenon in which women are divided into Madonna (pure, nurturing, maternal, sweetness, saintly) and whores (dark, depraved, sexual) resulting in a situation where men simultaneously who want sexual partners who have allegedly lost their dignity with no future engagement and romantic partners they cannot sexualise because they visualise them as a nurturer. 

It’s a polarising standard that has been implanted for centuries due to the fear of women’s power and our interconnected sexuality which has been historically attempted to be controlled by the masculine society. 

All of these elements have reinforced the complex and made us, Women, carry so much burdens from our ancestral lines. Now we are awakening and breaking cycles but we are still fighting to get back our legitimate position within society, if we want to.

In the era of Don Quixote by Miguel Cervantes, it shows that there was an early style of courtship and chivalry which defined a proper way to entertain women depending on their status, reducing women integration to some object or conquest.

And if you were (I am referring to Middle ages era) and are (our modern society) considered as a Madonna, men sees you as a Saint, an untouchable lady. 

Maybe that is why now some are running away right ? Because they sees the potential of evolution your relationship, ego is trying to protect them from what they are not ready to hold. 

So instead of working on themselves and trying to align, their emotional capacity makes them run away from you. 

Not saying that all men are the same, and let’s keep in mind that the Masculine counterpart has a lot of societal pressure also - creating a family and providing a financial and home structure balance and safety are also the societal status expectations. Because that is how we, human civilised being do. For some, it is what their family expects them to do, reducing their own desires and identities as well.

Therefore, In ancient times, if they were attracted to a Madonna or express sexual desires for her, they could also put their image status in danger - the same if they romanticising with a Whore. 

Think of all love stories that cannot be achieved because of this restrictive societal conventions…

But why is that so complicated to understand that a Feminine counterpart can nurture and blossom all aspect of life? 

And why do the influences of old beliefs remain alive in some minds? 

That we do not need to be repressed to fit into small box. 

There are so many histories of Deities, Goddesses, Angels and Queens that shaped histories and impacted minds that one day they got scared. 

« No, a woman is a nurturer, a baby machine and has to take care of our home only ». 

So that is when came the creation of status: A Madonna as she is considered so perfect, coming from a Goddess or Angel, has to lose a bit of human side because she would otherwise be equal to the others. 

Then, she needs to be entertained in different ways, you cannot sexualise her and/or see her as a Mother because she cannot be impure. 

A Whore, has failed to complete the unrealistic and pure standard, so she becomes disrespected and would never be seen as a nurturer. Then, she is restricted to be a sexual object only and she dare to have wants and desires (referring to Middle age era), nobody will listen to you.

Some dystopian novels refer apparently proudly to many examples of Whores being detached to society-sexually desired but never emotionally, because she does not deserve a romance. 

They created so many ideas of women being detached because they refer to a lack of dignity and safety with some mantras saying «  everyone belongs to everyone ». 

Our purity, our vulnerability and our desires have been held to stay conform for so long, reducing our bodies to be a property. 

How our Goddesses DNA made us today from their perspective so small, made us today experiencing « sexism ». 

Even a term has been created, does that not sound crazy at all? 

Our power was and still is so powerful that we have been considered as inhuman, so they created this game of survival to make sure everything stayed in place. 

But think about it a little bit deeper… 

If our natural capacity of giving birth and being maternal cannot be nuanced with us sharing our sexual desires our attractions to one-because it unbalances societal conventions of status, position and lose purity. 

Doesn’t it mean that we still have power over minds ? 

What if we change this inability of seeing through different perspective by educating, showing how proud we are to be able to tune into our power again by remembering?

Maybe this game will naturally shift, and that can start today by saying to yourself :

“I am not the problem. I am free to feel and to sense. Restrictive mental beliefs and limited emotional capacity stem from their own fears and doubts. I choose to prioritise my well-being by tuning back into my powerful energy, from my own free will. So be it.”

Charlotte Pons.